In a world obsessed with productivity and self-improvement, we’re constantly bombarded with advice on how to become our “best selves.” From Instagram influencers hawking miracle morning routines to productivity gurus promising the secret to unlimited success, it seems like everyone has the magic formula for transforming our lives. But what if I told you that the path to self-improvement is less about finding the perfect system and more about embracing the beautifully chaotic, often hilarious journey of being human?
Enter James Clear’s “Atomic Habits,” the book that’s taken the self-help world by storm faster than you can say “habit stacking.” Clear, the habit formation guru who probably color-codes his sock drawer, presents a compelling case for the power of tiny changes. But before we dive into the world of habit formation, let’s take a moment to appreciate the irony of a guy named “Clear” writing about making things obvious. I mean, come on, universe – could you be any more on the nose?
Now, don’t get me wrong. Clear’s four rules – make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying – sound great on paper. But let’s be real: if making good habits was as simple as following four rules, we’d all be Olympic athletes with six-pack abs who meal prep on Sundays and never hit the snooze button. The reality is messier, funnier, and far more relatable.
Take Rule #1: Make it obvious. Clear suggests putting your gym clothes out the night before to make working out more likely. Brilliant! Except when you wake up, bleary-eyed and cranky, and realize those gym clothes make an excellent pillow. Suddenly, your “obvious” cue has become an enabler for your snooze button addiction. Oops.
Or consider Rule #2: Make it attractive. The idea is to pair something you want to do with something you need to do. For instance, only allowing yourself to watch your favorite show while folding laundry. Sounds great, until you find yourself binge-watching an entire season of “The Great British Bake Off” surrounded by a mountain of unfolded clothes, wondering if Paul Hollywood would approve of your sock-pairing technique.
Rule #3 tells us to make it easy. Clear suggests reducing friction for good habits, like sleeping in your workout clothes to make morning exercise more likely. But let’s pause for a moment and consider the potential downsides. Sure, you might be more inclined to hit the gym, but you’re also more likely to scare the bejesus out of your partner when they wake up to find you dressed like a fitness ninja ready to pounce.
And finally, Rule #4: Make it satisfying. The idea is to give yourself immediate rewards for good behavior. But here’s where things can go hilariously wrong. Reward yourself with a piece of chocolate every time you go for a run, and suddenly you’re Pavlov’s dog, salivating at the mere sight of your running shoes. Before you know it, you’re jogging in place in your kitchen, one hand on the refrigerator handle, wondering where it all went wrong.
But here’s the thing: amid all the fumbles, false starts, and face-palm moments, something magical happens. We learn. We grow. We discover that the journey to self-improvement isn’t a straight line but a squiggly, loop-de-loop roller coaster ride that sometimes makes us want to throw up but ultimately leaves us exhilarated.
Clear’s concept of habit stacking – attaching a new habit to an existing one – is genuinely helpful. But let’s take a moment to appreciate the potential for comedic gold here. Decide to do pushups every time you check your phone, and suddenly you’re the weirdo doing calisthenics in the middle of Target because you just had to check Instagram. Try to meditate after your morning coffee, and you might find yourself reaching a higher state of consciousness – or just really needing to pee. The focus on being rather than achieving is another gem from Clear’s book. It’s a beautiful reminder that identity-based habits can be powerful motivators. Want to be a writer? Write every day. Want to be a musician? Play that instrument daily. Want to be a circus clown? Well, I can’t help you there, but I admire your commitment to making the world a more terrifying place for coulrophobes everywhere.
But here’s where I think Clear, and many other self-help gurus, miss the mark: the relentless pursuit of streaks and never missing a day. This advice, while well-intentioned, can lead to burnout faster than you can say “overachiever syndrome.” We’re not machines, folks. We’re wonderfully imperfect human beings who sometimes need to binge-watch an entire season of a show in one sitting while eating ice cream straight from the container. And you know what? That’s okay. In fact, I’d argue that those “off” days are just as important as the days when we’re firing on all cylinders. They’re the days when we learn compassion for ourselves, when we realize that perfection is an illusion, and when we discover that our worth isn’t tied to our productivity. They’re the days that make the journey human.
So, what if instead of aiming for perfect streaks, we aimed for progress with personality? What if we celebrated the days we crushed our goals and the days we barely got out of bed with equal enthusiasm? What if we viewed our habits not as a rigid set of rules, but as a choose-your-own-adventure story where sometimes you slay the dragon, and sometimes you accidentally set your own pants on fire?
Here’s my proposal for a more human-friendly approach to habit formation:
- Make it ridiculous: Instead of just making a habit obvious, make it so absurd you can’t ignore it. Want to drink more water? Try wearing a hat shaped like a giant water droplet. You’ll either drink more water or become a local legend. Win-win.
- Make it delightful: Don’t just make your habits attractive – make them a freakin’ party. Need to clean the house? Blast your favorite guilty pleasure music and dance with your mop like nobody’s watching. Your floors might not be spotless, but your spirit will be squeaky clean.
- Make it forgiving: Instead of just making a habit easy, build in room for error. Set three alarms if you’re trying to wake up earlier – one for your ideal time, one for your “okay, I can still make this work” time, and one for your “well, at least I’m not technically late” time.
- Make it story-worthy: Don’t just make your habits satisfying – make them the stuff of legend. Did you go for a run today? Great! Did you go for a run and get chased by a flock of angry geese? Even better! Now you’ve got a story to tell and a reason to keep going (if only to outrun the geese next time).
The truth is, the path to self-improvement isn’t about perfection – it’s about progress, laughter, and embracing the beautiful mess that is being human. It’s about celebrating the small victories, learning from the face-plant moments, and finding the humor in it all. So the next time you find yourself tangled up in your yoga mat, or realizing you’ve been standing in front of an open fridge for ten minutes contemplating the meaning of life (and whether that leftover pizza is still good), remember this: you’re not failing at habit formation. You’re succeeding at being wonderfully, imperfectly human. And really, isn’t that the most important habit of all?
In the end, maybe the real atomic habits are the friends we made along the way. Or maybe they’re just the collection of weird, wonderful, and sometimes questionable choices that make up our daily lives. Either way, I propose we raise a glass (of water, because hydration is important) to the messy, marvelous journey of self-improvement. Here’s to making habits that are obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying – but most importantly, here’s to making habits that are unmistakably, unapologetically you. May your journey be filled with laughter, learning, and the occasional bout of accidental public exercise. And remember, if all else fails, there’s always tomorrow. After all, the most atomic habit of all might just be giving yourself a break.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a giant water droplet hat and a mop. It’s time to make some habits – and maybe a few local news headlines while I’m at it.
This book is a game changer, get it and read it!: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones